Three Types of Love In Christianity
In the koine Greek languge, there
are 3 words for love. First, you have eros love. This is a sex type love and can
be emotional. The word, "erotica" comes from this word. Second, you
have the Koine Greek word, "Philo". This is your
"brotherly love" In the book of Revelation, one of the 7 churches
mentioned is the church
of Philidelpha, which is
known for it's brotherly love. It means, "if you love me; I'll love you in
return. It's a recipial form of love. The Most high and precious love , you
have Agape
love. Christ had this type of love. It's a love that's given and expects no
return. The most effective of these three loves, in any relationship is,
"Agape" love. If you try to build a relationship based on eros love;
it will only last as long as you have an emotional or sexual contact. Philo
love is only going to last as long as the person gives you love in return. But,
Agape love will always last - because it expects nothing in return and has no
conditions that come with it. What type of love is your relationship?
Bible Teaching about Christian Love
Bible teaching about Christian love brings sharp
focus on what makes the world go ‘round: love. You take music - country, pop,
or whatever – it talks about love. Either you have it, want it, or have just
lost it. People fall in love, and fall out of love. Romance novels stuff
bookshelves. Love can turn to hate, then switch to passion in a marital
squabble.
What is this thing called love? What is Christian
love? Have you ever wondered? I have, and so have many others. Let’s explore.
In the Western world, when we say, “love,” we can
mean many different things. Things can get confusing. I can love my cat, my
wife, my music, my friend, my job, my country, or my car. But I don’t love my
wife in the same way I do my car. See, things can really get mixed up!
Here I lay out a short course on the Bible
teaching about Christian love. When I talk about Christian love, I mean love as
viewed from the New Testament (NT). I focus on three basic categories.
The First and real Christian Love is
Agape:
(Highest Love)
Actually, this NT word (agape) stands in sharp
contrast to eros, and is rarely used outside the NT. It means to highly value,
and unconditionally have at heart the genuine welfare and best interests of the
object loved. It includes a rational commitment and motivation to maintain a
relationship even in the face of problems. It directs kindness, respect and
loyalty toward the object loved.
Agape stands at the heart of what is commonly
referred to in the Bible teaching about Christian love. The concept of this
kind of experience was in Greek and Roman culture, but not the actual word,
agape.
God expresses Christian love toward us (John
3:16; cf. Romans 5:5, 8), and Jesus explained this self-sacrificial love, “This
is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater
love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends” (John
15:12, 13).
Agape is fully described by Paul in 1 Corinthians
13:4-8. This kind of love can be directed (wrongly) toward the things of this
world, which might include cars, clothes, cameras, money, fame, power, and
manifold “bling blings” (1 John 2:15-17).
According to Jesus’ definition, agape can be
expressed in patriotism, as in soldiers laying down their lives for their
country. The Bible teaching about Christian love indicates it should form the
foundation of believer’s relationships with one another (John 13:35). Agape
love demonstrates our friendship with Jesus (John 15:14), and expresses our
Christian love toward God (1 John 5:1-3).
But, there is more to Christian love than this.
The Second love is
Phileo:
Friendship Love
The Bible teaching about Christian love includes
“phileo.” This category includes emotional warmth and tender affection toward a
friend or family member. It involves closeness, bonding, and mutual sharing in
a relationship. It is companionship, or brotherly love.
In a marriage relationship, the dominant fire of
eros gradually gives ground to the mature phileo of affection. Phileo becomes
the cement that bonds and holds families together over the long haul. There is
an actual shift in the balance of bodily hormones during this transition. In
popular usage, we call this shift the end of the honeymoon period.
The chemicals of eros dominate the emotional
areas of our brain, and overrule the critical thinking areas. After those
chemicals subside, the thinking regions make a come back, and we may wonder
what we ever saw in the other person!
Jesus displayed this Christian love toward
Lazarus, as observed, “Lord, behold, he whom You love (phileo) is sick” (John
11:3). In addition, John also wrote of this relationship, “Now Jesus loved
(agape) Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus” John 11:5).
John also reveals that God displays friendship
love (phileo) toward us, and believers toward Jesus (John 16:27).
So, what practical application can we draw from
the Bible teaching about Christian love? Let’s look.
Eros:
Sexual Love
I start with sex – or the Greek, “eros.” Why?
Because the fiery passion of sexual love is what most people call love. In
American culture, eros is also romantic love, and according to research, is the
main reason people get married. It gets more interesting. Over one half of both
American men and women maintain that not being in love (eros) is grounds for
bailing out of marriage!
Eros is a multifaceted mixture of anger, sexual
urge, joy, and jealousy. It is consummated in searing ecstasy.
Strangely, in the Bible teaching about Christian
love, eros is not mentioned in the NT Greek. Maybe it is because the Greeks in Corinth viewed eros as
the ultimate religious expression. They thought the highest spiritual
experience was the most powerful form of ecstasy. And, what could be more
intense than sexual climax?
That is why there existed in Corinth the temple to Aphrodite, the goddess
of love and beauty. At one time, this fertility cult employed about one
thousand priestess prostitutes available to provide the ultimate “religious
experience.” Paul referred to this problem in 1 Corinthians 6:15-20.
Bible teaching about Christian love is quite
contrary to the Greek notion of the highest form of love – or religion. For
Christian love, the highest form is agape. That’s next.
JoY JosepH
